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Here are some Loko Stories:
Had four cans of loko and offered a 5 year extension to Donovan McNabb. Thanks Loko.
Loco por vida
After hearing all the hub-bub about this "blackout in a can" I felt compelled to try this stuff out. I went and bought four of the grape flavor. Looked innocent enough..but that first drink..OMFG..It was like drinking gamma rays laced with cough syrup. Just awful. Being the true drunkard I am I proceeded to drink 3 of them. Feeling the rush of energy coursing through my body I got antsy,and jumpy. Finished the last one & then went to a bar with friends..when I showed up The people around me kept asking me for coke...I was that jacked. A few pitchers/shots and a few poorly done karaoke songs later..I woke up in bed with a bunch of cuts on both hands, my face covered in blood/vomit and fully dressed. My phone was going craaaazy. My head felt like it was split with a dull tomahawk..I try to leave to get something to eat and my car is not there. Great..maybe I will check my phone now. Several angry text/voice messages later and I come to find out I didnt quietly leave the bar after singing two karaoke songs..Thats just when I blacked out. From second hand stories I guess i was heckling some other karaoke singers when some guy tried to start a fight with me...I guess I punched him out, spit on his girlfriend..threw a few bar stools..started fighting the bouncers..getting thrown outside in the parking lot onto my face and proceeded to try to punch out car windows whilst leaving the parking lot. Got into my car and terrorized my poor passenger for 13 city blocks, driving on curbs and throwing up in his lap..I then forgot the gate code to my apartment complex so I left my car at the front gate, lights on, blocking the gate. 8 stitches in my head, cast on right hand..bar might be pressing charges and I may be getting evicted. But hey no DUI. Four Loko is no effing joke.
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scarred for life
so it was my first semester this year in college, and i was gettin rowdy drinkin 4 four lokos. I go out of my room after 2 and im feelin nice. i drink the last 2 and hit up a party and find this girl who looked hot but in reality she was fat and ugly, like a 2 out of 10, i bring her back too my room and we started havin sex and thought i was some kind of pornstar so i go two knuckles deep in her ass with my fingers. then i think shes real wet and after i finish, inside her, i realize this bitch had her period ALL over me, then she starts blowin me, with blood on my dick, and i get freaked out and run outta the room naked with blood all over me, i just happen to run into two campus police officers and they draw their guns on me cuz they literally thought i killed somebody. i spent a few hours in the campus jail until my friends came and explained what happened to the officers. its safe to say i will never drink four lokos again.
Wilson the Hammock Man
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One night I drank two cans of Four Loko and I remember sitting in a hot tub then sitting at a Subway restaurant hitting my head against the table yelling, "This is my nightmare. This is my hell", then giving a homeless man a high five instead of change, and that was the last thing I remembered. The next morning I woke up soaking wet in the back of a Ford escort by myself shoeless outside of an apartment complex that I lived at two years ago.
After a long night of lokoness i was brought back to this girls room who my boy told me was a straight freak. So obviosly i was all about it. She said "the only rule is I can do whatever I want to you"....so next thing you kno this girl put anal beads up my ass and laid out a towel underneath me. I'm thinking what could possible be next. She then proceeds to suck my dick and tell me to let her kno when i'm gonna cum. So finally i'm about to go and let her know...she rips the anal beads out of my ass...my cumshot hit the ceiling and I shit my draws...without the loko in my system I dont think I would have been in this situation. Thank you Four Loko
After sipping gin I was lured into a game of kings. I chugged two in waterfall mode, finished in about half an hour. Blacked out and woke up in the hospital at about 4 am, at which point the night was explained to me. I'd gotten in a fight with a girl, headed to a bar and gotten kicked out. At my friend's house I fell backwards over a table and smacked my head against his door. I hit it hard enough to split open my head leave a blood splatter and pass out in my friend's arms while she held a paper towel to my head. 7 staples. I also apparently told the nurse, "Give it to me straight doc - AM I GONNA LIVE??"
Drank three Four Loko before a concert in Atlanta. Woke up the next morning in a Savannah jail 5 hours away.
not my story, but rather a story from the local newspaper.
about a month back there was a break-in at a convenience store surrounded by the lowest of the low rent apartments. the front glass door was smashed open and some displays had been moved but, aside from the minimal damage, there was no evidence of theft. that is, until the security cameras were checked. what they showed was a young black male walking up to the front door and smashing it open with a hammer. he reaches inside to undo the lock, enters the store and proceeds, in the darkness, to the drink case where he takes, wait for it, a SINGLE can of fourloko.
officers begin canvassing the nearby neighborhoods looking for anyone who may have witnessed any suspicious activity.
an hour or so into their door-to-door search, they come across a man in his apartment who is clearly drunk and holding a can of fourloko. the officer shows the man the security camera picture of the thief and asks if he has seen anyone matching the description. the drunk man stares at the picture for a moment before exclaiming excitedly "that's me!"
he tells officers he had been drinking fourloko most of the night and went to steal more when he ran out. he then led officers to where he had thrown the hammer into a culvert before being carted off to jail.
i have a great respect as well a great fear of anyone who drinks this stuff recreationally.
My friend Matt and I have the same birthday one year apart which happened to be on a Tuesday before our Calculus midterm the next day at 1 o'clock. We studied all week for the test. All week we planned on having out birthday celebration the Wednesday after the test.
As we were doing our studying during that day we felt like we knew all our shit. So then our plan was to get lok'd that night to celebrate the night of our actual birthday too. Right after we planned it, I found out that I had to go to a meeting at 10 that night.
I went to my meeting and ended at 10:30. I then went over to Matt's house thinking that we were not going to drink, but he thought otherwise and handed me my first loko.
After drinking that loko like water I proceeded to take bong loads and birthday shots of patron. After that I cracked my 2nd loko.
Cross-faded out of my mind. I started playing hockey (the drinking game) with my loko and when my can got hit, I had to chug. This last chug put me on the floor. Shivering on the ground face first with my face literally in the bowl, I thought I was going to die. I moved from the living room, to the bathroom and then to the bathtub where I ended up passing out.
The next morning, I woke up at about 10:30 still shit-faced. I got driven home and in the car ride I had to puke. I held it till I got to my dorm where I yacked in the parking lot before I stumbled into my room.
For the next 2 hours I layed on my floor trying to eat, drink and get better for my test at 1 o clock. Then when 12:30 came around, still hammered, I walked to class to take my test. We went to the test still drunk/hungover and took the test. After my test I went back to my dorm room at 3 and yacked the yellow shit in my shower and then passed out for the rest of the day.
A week later, we got our tests back to see a 100% on my paper and a 102% on his. We got the two highest grades in the class.
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