Four Loko Stories
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Manuel: So my friend Newington and I were staying at this dude Ivan's house in New York City. And we get bored so we go to Thompkins Square Park and start drinkin' Four Lokos in the park with these fuckin' hobos. We drink like 3 cans each of loko and split 3 slammers (four loko mixed with a 40 of malt liquor). Next thing I know I'm in this van that smells so much like gasoline you'd think it would blow up, with like 8 hobos, and they're all drinkin' the Loko. All of a sudden this giant hobo starts screamin "get me outta this car", and we're like "Wait dude!", and he slides open the door and tries jump out, turns out we're on the Williamsburg bridge, so like 5 people are holding this screaming 6'5 massive hobo in the van all accross the bridge while he's trying to escape. We eventually get him in, and he and his hobo girl friend start beating the shit out of each other for like 15 minutes till we reach Ivan's house where we're gonna party. We end up making it there have more four lokos, and Ivan is fuckin' pissed we brought these bums over. He says they gotta go because they all have dogs and he claimed they were pissing all over his house, which I don't doubt. So the big hobo gets up in Ivan's face sayin' he'll kill him, and this other hobo starts talking to the big dude in Polish and he calms down out of nowhere and starts hugging the girl he was fighting back in the van. Then we left. I don't remember what else happened, but me and Newington got banned from Ivan's house the next day for all the hobo trouble. Totally worth it.
Loko: 492
Not Loko: 429

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