Sargon the Sorceror:
Yeah, I drank some grape flavored Four Loko. I had a Twinkie with it. I called this combination "dinner." I had,as a backup, a fruit punch Four Loko in the fridge. My friend asked for it. I said go for it; I didn't mind. That' what friends are for, right? Sharing my Four Loko made me feel closer to my friend.
That is, until I murdered him, in cold blood, because I drank too much Four Loko. Now, I live on the run, in Mexico, due to my Four Loko- induced killing. I've lost my friend. I've lost my home. I've lost my whole life. I'm sure I'll soon lose my freedom. There's so much I wish i could take back, but I can't. Now, a fugitive, I live forever on the run, looking over my shoulder, fear my constant companion.
And you know what? I'm drinking a Four Loko as I write this. Four Loko:You've brought upon me the worst of times, yet are still here for me in my hour of deepest despair. I'd say "God bless Four Loko," but that'd be wrong; it's more like, "Four Loko bless God."