Aspiring Black Woman:
Once upon a time, in North Philadelphia, it was my friends birthday. What a better way to celebrate a birthday than to go loko. The plans were to pre game at my friend's apartment, then get a taxi to the clubs in South Philly. I ended up killing an entire blue razz four loko before everyone even got to the pre game. After a few rounds of beer pong, we were ready to go out. We called two cabs. I was in the second cab, but it was extremely late. While we were anxiously waiting for our cab outside of the apartment, I chugged the second half of my second loko...screamed "fuck this" then chucked the can in the police station parking lot across the street. We ended up getting the cab for two blocks then changed our minds and got let out. While we were walking back to the apartment, I told everyone I was "getting my black girl swag on", because white chicks don't got no swag. I ended up tripping on a curb, tumbling into the street, and spraining my ankle. After hobbling back to the apartment I felt the need to call my boss and tell her I failed to be black. I looked at my phone the next day and realized i was on the phone with her for fifteen fucking minutes. We ended up going back out, but when we got to the party I had to walk my friend home. I hobbled her home six blocks and then hobbled back.
I woke up at 7:30 the next morning to go to work, and I couldn't even stand. Ironically, I was involved in a photoshoot for promotional safety. All day this guy took pictures of me, hungover as shit, in an ankle brace, hobbling on ladders.