I'd heard the legends, the rumors, the myths of the Loko but never drank a full one til this past August. That night, a couple of buddies and I pregamed a night out at some local bars with one each. After several more beers and a shot or two, I was ravenous: pissed on my neighbor's garage, was climbing fences and running through people's backyards like a hallucinogenic secret agent, and tried to dig up a street sign. No, not like shook it a little and tried to knock it down. I took off my shirt, got down on my hands and knees, and DUG A GIANT HOLE around the whole thing, down to its cement base. After 20 minutes-ish of trying, I gave up, broke off a branch from a nearby tree, and ran home shirtless through some sprinklers, fanning myself with the branch. It was 4 AM... when my parents opened the door to let me in.
God Bless the Loko.