Four Loko Stories
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Chronotherm: Hello, fellow Four Loko users. Today I decided to buy a case of Four Loko to celebrate, or "mourn," the disappearance and/or outlawing of our mutual friend, Four Loko (Phusion Products is in trouble for absolutely no reason by New York State because of stupid bullshit.) Said case consisted of twelve assorted Four Lokos. I had a Four Loko, then a girl who was located in my fraternity house also had a Four Loko. We attempted to go into my room and have sex, at which point I blacked out. Hours later, I became acutely aware of my surroundings. I was in a shower, with a pounding headache, and -- unable to get an erection or ejaculate because of "four loko dick" -- I found myself urinating on her face. She also had a Four Loko. The only part that I remember thereafter is her thanking me for taking a piss on her face. I never thought I would get thanked for peeing on a girl's face outside of the adult film industry. God bless Four Loko; she was pretty cute. I got a second date. I don't plan to pee on her next time.
Loko: 460
Not Loko: 449

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