drank about two four lokos... ended up hooking up with the fattest chick at the party... took her home... fucked her... woke up the next morning with her there and a huge blood stain on my sheets...
I work at Mcds. Last night, we decided to get a little drunk and my friend went and bought some Joose or whatever it's called. We chugged those down while on break and went to back to work. My friend wasn't handling as great as me and went to buy more shit, but this time she bought 8 Four Lokos. She comes back and everyone at our mcds starts to drink (we were the closing shift, so by everyone I mean 5 people). Umm. Wow. I remember her on the ground almost all the time. Me taking orders on drive-thru and telling people their hoodies were awesome, gave this one car of highschoolers like twenty pies and 4 large fries, and spent like ten minutes with the nurse from my college talking about communism (she's wacked out). We all ended up crying our eyes out and dancing and it was the most shitty close ever. Pretty sure we didn't restock anything. I'm so gonna get fired.
SO my friends and I decided it was a great idea to play flip cup with four loko. The last thing i remember is waking up in my bed with my ankle the size of a grapefruit. Turns out I fell down a flight of stairs then got up saying "Im fine" then fell off a curb and had to be carried home. I ended up tearing all the ligaments in my ankle and foot. I have been in a walking boot for 6 weeks now and my friends now call me booty! Still worth it 143 four loko!
Wilson the Hammock Man: Need to pass out after drinking too much loko? Check out these sweet camping hammocks!
So my friend Newington and I were staying at this dude Ivan's house in New York City. And we get bored so we go to Thompkins Square Park and start drinkin' Four Lokos in the park with these fuckin' hobos. We drink like 3 cans each of loko and split 3 slammers (four loko mixed with a 40 of malt liquor). Next thing I know I'm in this van that smells so much like gasoline you'd think it would blow up, with like 8 hobos, and they're all drinkin' the Loko. All of a sudden this giant hobo starts screamin "get me outta this car", and we're like "Wait dude!", and he slides open the door and tries jump out, turns out we're on the Williamsburg bridge, so like 5 people are holding this screaming 6'5 massive hobo in the van all accross the bridge while he's trying to escape. We eventually get him in, and he and his hobo girl friend start beating the shit out of each other for like 15 minutes till we reach Ivan's house where we're gonna party. We end up making it there have more four lokos, and Ivan is fuckin' pissed we brought these bums over. He says they gotta go because they all have dogs and he claimed they were pissing all over his house, which I don't doubt. So the big hobo gets up in Ivan's face sayin' he'll kill him, and this other hobo starts talking to the big dude in Polish and he calms down out of nowhere and starts hugging the girl he was fighting back in the van. Then we left.
I don't remember what else happened, but me and Newington got banned from Ivan's house the next day for all the hobo trouble.
Totally worth it.
Went to visit some bros and started off the night with 3 cans of this death juice....that's the last thing I remember. Apparently, we got sick of sitting around and walked to the store to continue getting our rage on. On our way, I miserably failed to dropkick a tree and proceeded to tear the back of my shorts and put a 12" gash in my leg. In the store, I ripped off my shirt, had a flex-off with the old lady behind the register with blood dripping down my leg, and got kicked out by the manager. A few hours and a bunch of tackled mailboxes later, I woke up on the bathroom floor with blood soaked shorts stuck to my leg, throwing up dinner/Loko/blood and crying like a little girl....thanks Four Loko
Had a cranberry lemonade Loko and six beers, went to a dance club with my buddies, and even though I hate to dance, apparently I was tearing shit up. According to witnesses, in my flailing I ended up elbowing this girl in the head on three occasions before we left. When we got back to my friend's dorm I desperately wanted to check my email, but my laptop was in my buddy's room, which was locked. Apparently he had a girl in there, but I was unaware of anything other than the fact that my laptop was in there and I needed it right fucking then. I decided to try ramming the door with my shoulder. I ended up breaking the deadbolt out of the frame. I also ended up bursting in on my friend trying to get it on with none other than the same girl whom I had elbowed in the face earlier that night. Needless to say, she ran the hell out of there, my friend got blueballs and a busted door, and I got to check my email. All in all it worked out pretty nicely.
Last weekend in Baltimore I drank two 4 Lokos then found out I had to move my car because my street was going to have weekend construction. I promptly moved my vehicle then proceeded to continue boozing at a few nearby bars before my memory failed me entirely. The last thing I remember was starting to walk home, proud of myself for having avoided driving home drunk or paying for a taxi.
Next thing I know it was 6:45am and I was in bed still wearing my shoes and my contacts. Several of my knuckles were split and there was part of an orange construction fence entangled on my coat. I set out to retrieve my car before it could be towed, but alas, it was nowhere to be found- not even in the city's two impound lots. FOUR AND A HALF HOURS OF WALKING LATER I found it on a sidestreet in the hood, at least 3 neighborhoods away from where I thought I parked it. Textbook Lokomotion.
So the other night, I went to a bonfire at a friends house and decided to drink nothing but loko. I was almost done with my 3rd when someone had the great idea of branding my ass with a metal skewer. Of course I thought it was a great idea at the time. While everyone argued about whether or not to let this happen I decided to test it out the back of my hand, burning the number 11 into it. Note to self...four loko doesn't also act as a pain killer