So my friend Newington and I were staying at this dude Ivan's house in New York City. And we get bored so we go to Thompkins Square Park and start drinkin' Four Lokos in the park with these fuckin' hobos. We drink like 3 cans each of loko and split 3 slammers (four loko mixed with a 40 of malt liquor). Next thing I know I'm in this van that smells so much like gasoline you'd think it would blow up, with like 8 hobos, and they're all drinkin' the Loko. All of a sudden this giant hobo starts screamin "get me outta this car", and we're like "Wait dude!", and he slides open the door and tries jump out, turns out we're on the Williamsburg bridge, so like 5 people are holding this screaming 6'5 massive hobo in the van all accross the bridge while he's trying to escape. We eventually get him in, and he and his hobo girl friend start beating the shit out of each other for like 15 minutes till we reach Ivan's house where we're gonna party. We end up making it there have more four lokos, and Ivan is fuckin' pissed we brought these bums over. He says they gotta go because they all have dogs and he claimed they were pissing all over his house, which I don't doubt. So the big hobo gets up in Ivan's face sayin' he'll kill him, and this other hobo starts talking to the big dude in Polish and he calms down out of nowhere and starts hugging the girl he was fighting back in the van. Then we left.
I don't remember what else happened, but me and Newington got banned from Ivan's house the next day for all the hobo trouble.
Totally worth it.
We decided it would be a great idea to pre-game with Four Lokos before running in Bay to Breakers, a 7 mile footrace across San Francisco.
I pounded 2 Four Lokos, a water bottle of Vodka, and a bottle of Andre (just to keep things classy)--all in one hour while we were on the metro.
The rest of the day is a blur. Apparently, after finding and throwing tortillas at another runner, he proceeded to choke me in the middle of the street in broad daylight. But that didnt stop me! I ran two miles uphill and eventually passed out next to a first aid tent at Alamo Park, across the street from the "Full House" house.
I was woken up when a Police officer grabbed the Four Loko I was clutching in my hands, poured it out and then threw the crushed up can onto me--all while threatening to arrest me for public intoxication. I somehow talked my way out of it--and hitched a $70 limo ride home. Success.
i should preface this by stating that under normal circumstances, i am fully a legit lesbo. I met a friend of mine at a dance party after an art opening, where i'd imbibed a few glasses of wine. we went to a deli and picked up 3 four lokos and split the bounty. i did *not* black out, but started hump-dancing a dude in a sweater vest (WHAT?). My friend stage-dove and no one caught her, causing her to break her rib, whereupon I left with the dude. we went back to the radio station he owned and had sex on the couch. he slept on the floor and i left my bra there, doing the most brutal walk of shame i have ever experienced.
Wilson the Hammock Man: Need to pass out after drinking too much loko? Check out these sweet camping hammocks!
i drank only 1 4loko and woke up with bruised knuckles.. idk who i punched... many other bumps and bruises in places they should not be... and a missing bra.... later to find out that the guy i was throwing myself at all night was walking around the house with my bra soaked in beer on his head... i also got caught peeing on the lawn by a group of guys... flashed my thong and put on a stripper show as a distraction for my pong opponents... and was crying for a good 20 minutes for what reason i do not know. SO LOKO.
Drank four lokos, four of them, on the night of halloween. Last thing i remeber is yelling viciously at the whole party then i wake up 100 miles away in my work clothes the next afternoon. I went to sleep dressed as an alligator.
The night started with my good friend and i each killing a four loko and a 24 of Old English in about 15-20 min during a drinking game. Turned out that there was about 6-8 shots of tequila in his fridge. That was gone soon after. This is when the blackout hit. I somehow managed to climb up the Ridge and found my way to my other friends room where a few beers were killed. Soon there after i some how got to my room and decided that a shower was a good idea. I was woken up naked at 8am still in the shower. Turns out i had passed out naked in the shower over the drain. I flooded the bathroom, my room and my suitemates room with standing water. Oh Four Loko.
Went to visit some bros and started off the night with 3 cans of this death juice....that's the last thing I remember. Apparently, we got sick of sitting around and walked to the store to continue getting our rage on. On our way, I miserably failed to dropkick a tree and proceeded to tear the back of my shorts and put a 12" gash in my leg. In the store, I ripped off my shirt, had a flex-off with the old lady behind the register with blood dripping down my leg, and got kicked out by the manager. A few hours and a bunch of tackled mailboxes later, I woke up on the bathroom floor with blood soaked shorts stuck to my leg, throwing up dinner/Loko/blood and crying like a little girl....thanks Four Loko