Here are some Loko Stories:
The Italian:
I drank two and a half four lokos at my dormitory last year. I ended up lighting an American flag on fire and tying it around my back while yelling insults at passing people on the street. Someone put it out (my shirt still has burn marks) and I finished the third in my friends room while going insane to some dubby ass dubstep. Then, I announced that a monkey had just pissed on my mind-brain and left the room. I then walked up to a fire alarm in the dorm and pulled it, for no reason that I can remember. I sprinted out of the building falling on the way and crossed the street, watching my dorm-mates pour out of the building. After we were led back in, I sprinted past the security guard upstairs and wrote a drunken confession letter, turned it in, and ended up in jail 2 days later. Most of this has been told to me, I barely remember it. Now they tell my story to all incoming freshmen every year! And somehow through all of this, I ended up being referred to as "The Italian." I'm a pale guy of Irish and English descent. I'LL MISS YOU FOUR LOKO!!!! You won't be the same without all your stimulating chemicals.
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Live Webcam: Check out this Armory Square, Syracuse webcam on a Friday or Saturday night to see some interesting stuff!
Jamal:
Mayne, I was meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time and was really fucking nervous. It was a 2 hour drive to her rents house so I figured I'd drink a 40 or some shit on the way to loosen up.
While at the gas station I see these 4loko's cheap as SHIT! I'm talking like $1.50. Well I drank two.
I have no recollection but I learned in the morning we showed up and I was wearing a bandana trying to sell her dad a zanax. Proceeded to almost fight when he declined my offer and I ended up shitting (this drink gives you mad shits bro) on her mom's curtains
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sidewalkslam:
went with a couple of friends and downed around 8 lokos collectively. somehow managed to wander with another friend into a very upscale neighborhood where we tried to start a riot. somehow got 8 followers, screamed at an old couple and got hit by some guy in a car. thats where i blacked out. apparently i procceded to get up and beat the shit out of the guy who hit me, ran into the woods and fucked up a cop car while no one was inside. fucked a girl i met, puked on her and ran away to find more drinks. apparently i didnt make it because i woke up in arizona. i live in california. i still dont know how i got there. my friend blacked out during our run for more loko.
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Wilson the Hammock Man: Need to pass out after drinking too much loko? Check out these sweet camping hammocks!
Jack Lev:
drank 2 lokos driving with my gf. fuckin homeless guy stole my car when i left it wit keys in ignition. got on my gf's little sis bike and chased him down. blacked out... i have no car. no bike. girlfriend dumped me. 4 loko ruined my life
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zapata:
with 1 loko i was stripping in a party then got home and threw up all over my boyfriend twice
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Eighties Party: Learn how to throw an 80s party!
skeeter:
drank about two four lokos... ended up hooking up with the fattest chick at the party... took her home... fucked her... woke up the next morning with her there and a huge blood stain on my sheets...
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GripAndSip!:
Having tried 6 of 9 four loko flavors, i can say with confidence that drinking four loko is similar to getting raped by Mr. T holding a cattle prod in your ass, in jail, in the rain, next to a homosexual midget male prostitute tied to a pumpkin with a straw inserted in his urethra. Now that's loko
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killaman:
realistically.....
fuck the shitters and the bitches who cant handle four lokos. if your going to buy it, knowing it is 12% alcohol content and basically a deuce-deuce as they say, and can't handle it...DONT DRINK IT. The most I've had in a 6 hour period is 5...I'm 21 years old and while I might be a bit of a tank...I'm not afucking super human. It's alcohol and caffeine. Quit shitting your pants and acting like babies. Wah wah wah...I went to the club and my friend got his dick sucked by a homeless legless bitch...fuck you. You don't belong at a club. Much less a fucking toys r us. Joke. If you wanna drink a four loko, you gotta be loko. It doesn't come with practice or nothing like that, either you got it or you don't. If this too hard for you to understand....there's smirnoff right underneath it. Drink that, and if you shit your pants THEN FUCKING QUIT
-Killaman
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Four Nojoke-o:
Went to visit some bros and started off the night with 3 cans of this death juice....that's the last thing I remember. Apparently, we got sick of sitting around and walked to the store to continue getting our rage on. On our way, I miserably failed to dropkick a tree and proceeded to tear the back of my shorts and put a 12" gash in my leg. In the store, I ripped off my shirt, had a flex-off with the old lady behind the register with blood dripping down my leg, and got kicked out by the manager. A few hours and a bunch of tackled mailboxes later, I woke up on the bathroom floor with blood soaked shorts stuck to my leg, throwing up dinner/Loko/blood and crying like a little girl....thanks Four Loko
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