i should preface this by stating that under normal circumstances, i am fully a legit lesbo. I met a friend of mine at a dance party after an art opening, where i'd imbibed a few glasses of wine. we went to a deli and picked up 3 four lokos and split the bounty. i did *not* black out, but started hump-dancing a dude in a sweater vest (WHAT?). My friend stage-dove and no one caught her, causing her to break her rib, whereupon I left with the dude. we went back to the radio station he owned and had sex on the couch. he slept on the floor and i left my bra there, doing the most brutal walk of shame i have ever experienced.
We decided it would be a great idea to pre-game with Four Lokos before running in Bay to Breakers, a 7 mile footrace across San Francisco.
I pounded 2 Four Lokos, a water bottle of Vodka, and a bottle of Andre (just to keep things classy)--all in one hour while we were on the metro.
The rest of the day is a blur. Apparently, after finding and throwing tortillas at another runner, he proceeded to choke me in the middle of the street in broad daylight. But that didnt stop me! I ran two miles uphill and eventually passed out next to a first aid tent at Alamo Park, across the street from the "Full House" house.
I was woken up when a Police officer grabbed the Four Loko I was clutching in my hands, poured it out and then threw the crushed up can onto me--all while threatening to arrest me for public intoxication. I somehow talked my way out of it--and hitched a $70 limo ride home. Success.
I drank two and a half four lokos at my dormitory last year. I ended up lighting an American flag on fire and tying it around my back while yelling insults at passing people on the street. Someone put it out (my shirt still has burn marks) and I finished the third in my friends room while going insane to some dubby ass dubstep. Then, I announced that a monkey had just pissed on my mind-brain and left the room. I then walked up to a fire alarm in the dorm and pulled it, for no reason that I can remember. I sprinted out of the building falling on the way and crossed the street, watching my dorm-mates pour out of the building. After we were led back in, I sprinted past the security guard upstairs and wrote a drunken confession letter, turned it in, and ended up in jail 2 days later. Most of this has been told to me, I barely remember it. Now they tell my story to all incoming freshmen every year! And somehow through all of this, I ended up being referred to as "The Italian." I'm a pale guy of Irish and English descent. I'LL MISS YOU FOUR LOKO!!!! You won't be the same without all your stimulating chemicals.
So the other night, I went to a bonfire at a friends house and decided to drink nothing but loko. I was almost done with my 3rd when someone had the great idea of branding my ass with a metal skewer. Of course I thought it was a great idea at the time. While everyone argued about whether or not to let this happen I decided to test it out the back of my hand, burning the number 11 into it. Note to self...four loko doesn't also act as a pain killer
went with a couple of friends and downed around 8 lokos collectively. somehow managed to wander with another friend into a very upscale neighborhood where we tried to start a riot. somehow got 8 followers, screamed at an old couple and got hit by some guy in a car. thats where i blacked out. apparently i procceded to get up and beat the shit out of the guy who hit me, ran into the woods and fucked up a cop car while no one was inside. fucked a girl i met, puked on her and ran away to find more drinks. apparently i didnt make it because i woke up in arizona. i live in california. i still dont know how i got there. my friend blacked out during our run for more loko.
Did a power hour with a Loko not knowing what it was. Passed out at a party, got lost on my way home. Was found by my guy friends in the guys bathroom crying in the stall, when they moved me to the bigger stall i started screaming "he left me for a fat ugly girl with big gums!" "big what?" "GUMSS! LIKE A HORSEE!" I then went back to their room where i forced them to play christmas music for me to "dance" to, it was april. When they told me to go to bed i told them that I was the night owl and they were my owlettes and i tell them when the fuck to go to bed, and it is their bedtime!
Bonged Three Four Lokos, broke into a house I plan on living in next year, told random people to go fuck themselves, got kicked out of 2 bars, puke all over myself, went to go shower off, wake up 3 hours later to my roomates banging on the door, ended up flooding the bathroom and the entry way.
Had my first Loko the other nite...liked the feeling and had my second...then third...i woke up the next morning in an elevator with 7 empty cans of loko and sharpie inked all over my body...almost 13 hours elapsed without me remembering it...oh...and it should also be known that my dorm building doesnt have an elevator...i found myself in a building in downtown Manhattan.