I drank two and a half four lokos at my dormitory last year. I ended up lighting an American flag on fire and tying it around my back while yelling insults at passing people on the street. Someone put it out (my shirt still has burn marks) and I finished the third in my friends room while going insane to some dubby ass dubstep. Then, I announced that a monkey had just pissed on my mind-brain and left the room. I then walked up to a fire alarm in the dorm and pulled it, for no reason that I can remember. I sprinted out of the building falling on the way and crossed the street, watching my dorm-mates pour out of the building. After we were led back in, I sprinted past the security guard upstairs and wrote a drunken confession letter, turned it in, and ended up in jail 2 days later. Most of this has been told to me, I barely remember it. Now they tell my story to all incoming freshmen every year! And somehow through all of this, I ended up being referred to as "The Italian." I'm a pale guy of Irish and English descent. I'LL MISS YOU FOUR LOKO!!!! You won't be the same without all your stimulating chemicals.
wanted to catch a buzz and was a little tired before I went out, so I got 3 orange four Loko's. I mean, for $2.50 each, I 72oz of beer and energy drinks at once! BIG FUCKING MISTAKE! I drove, thinking I was fine and met my friends at the bar. Showed up wasted there, started drinking Jack & Cokes. Next think I remember I had the Shallow Hal glasses on... aggressively hitting on anything that was female, preferably fat and hideous... AND EASY! Things get fuzzy from there, but I woke up... pissed on myself, what felt like a chainsaw going thru my head and two blobs in my bed. I also noticed a Tabo Bell bag which still had some food in it -- I can only imagine what I did what those blobs, but because of four Loko I had my first 3some!!!
Did a power hour with a Loko not knowing what it was. Passed out at a party, got lost on my way home. Was found by my guy friends in the guys bathroom crying in the stall, when they moved me to the bigger stall i started screaming "he left me for a fat ugly girl with big gums!" "big what?" "GUMSS! LIKE A HORSEE!" I then went back to their room where i forced them to play christmas music for me to "dance" to, it was april. When they told me to go to bed i told them that I was the night owl and they were my owlettes and i tell them when the fuck to go to bed, and it is their bedtime!
Wilson the Hammock Man: Need to pass out after drinking too much loko? Check out these sweet camping hammocks!
fuck the shitters and the bitches who cant handle four lokos. if your going to buy it, knowing it is 12% alcohol content and basically a deuce-deuce as they say, and can't handle it...DONT DRINK IT. The most I've had in a 6 hour period is 5...I'm 21 years old and while I might be a bit of a tank...I'm not afucking super human. It's alcohol and caffeine. Quit shitting your pants and acting like babies. Wah wah wah...I went to the club and my friend got his dick sucked by a homeless legless bitch...fuck you. You don't belong at a club. Much less a fucking toys r us. Joke. If you wanna drink a four loko, you gotta be loko. It doesn't come with practice or nothing like that, either you got it or you don't. If this too hard for you to understand....there's smirnoff right underneath it. Drink that, and if you shit your pants THEN FUCKING QUIT
drank 2 lokos driving with my gf. fuckin homeless guy stole my car when i left it wit keys in ignition. got on my gf's little sis bike and chased him down. blacked out... i have no car. no bike. girlfriend dumped me. 4 loko ruined my life
I work at Mcds. Last night, we decided to get a little drunk and my friend went and bought some Joose or whatever it's called. We chugged those down while on break and went to back to work. My friend wasn't handling as great as me and went to buy more shit, but this time she bought 8 Four Lokos. She comes back and everyone at our mcds starts to drink (we were the closing shift, so by everyone I mean 5 people). Umm. Wow. I remember her on the ground almost all the time. Me taking orders on drive-thru and telling people their hoodies were awesome, gave this one car of highschoolers like twenty pies and 4 large fries, and spent like ten minutes with the nurse from my college talking about communism (she's wacked out). We all ended up crying our eyes out and dancing and it was the most shitty close ever. Pretty sure we didn't restock anything. I'm so gonna get fired.
Having tried 6 of 9 four loko flavors, i can say with confidence that drinking four loko is similar to getting raped by Mr. T holding a cattle prod in your ass, in jail, in the rain, next to a homosexual midget male prostitute tied to a pumpkin with a straw inserted in his urethra. Now that's loko
drank about two four lokos... ended up hooking up with the fattest chick at the party... took her home... fucked her... woke up the next morning with her there and a huge blood stain on my sheets...