3 four lokos Saturday night paired with a slew of other unintelligent beverage choices, & I wake up naked next to a fully clothed-semi hot guy, an empty bottle of wet platinum, and without my anal virginity.
I'd seen Four Lokos at various parties over the summer and had only taken a few sips of friends' here and there. One night, my girlfriend and her roommates were throwing a party and I decided that I wanted Four Lokos to be my drink of choice. I thought "Hey, how bad can 2 energy drinks really fuck me up? I'm sure that won't even be enough alcohol for the night". Wrong.
After finishing the first one in under 5 minutes, I was already feeling adventurous. We started with some pretty tame drinking games, except I kept losing... but the time we were done, I was rolling across the kitchen floor screaming about, "How badly I wanted grandma's oatmeal cookies more than a blowjob" That's the last thing I remember.
I proceded to attempt to bake said cookies, and next morning I woke up with my head in a mixing bowl that contained flour, unbeaten eggs (the yoke was stuck in my hair), fish sticks, yogurt, oatmeal, and (of course) some Four Loko. I didn't get laid that night.
We played a game of Edward 4loko-hands for my birthday party. It works just like Edward 40-hands, but you play with 4loko instead. I knew that I would end up pissing my pants if I didn't finish quick, so I drank both my 4lokos in under ten minutes total. The rest of the night was amazing... Baby bird shots, girls stripping on the kitchen table, and various other blurs. I will miss you 4loko. You'll always have a special place in my heart and in my liver.
So, I hear about this "Four Lokos" phenomenon on the news which makes me go buy one of each flavor. I managed to pound 2 1/2 cans in about 5 min...the 10 min long instant stomach ache turned into me being completely shit-housed. I threw my brand new android cell phone into the street for no apparent reason, pissed in my gf's cat's litter box, walked thru my neighborhood in only boxer briefs talking to myself.. then woke up a few hours later laying next to our community pool in vomit, with a broken pinky toe. Our neighbors now think I'm a total whack-job and hide their children when I'm outside - thanks Four Lokos!
Wilson the Hammock Man: Need to pass out after drinking too much loko? Check out these sweet camping hammocks!
So my friend and i had 3 four loko's each in about an hour. it tasted like old wine but i soldiered it out and drank them both.. w the last thing i remember is my roommate standing on our other (jerk) roommates car hood and taking a shit on his windshield. i woke up with no pants or boxers...just a trader joes bag and a construction vest on. my roommate came back around 10am saying that he was woken up in some bushes by a guy walking his dog..
Decided to try out 4 loko. Drank 2 of them to pregame then went out to the bars. I didn't drink anything at the bar, but I totally blacked out. the rest of this story was gathered from security footage at the bar. I tried to steal several bar stools from the bar. the bartender immediately flipped out so I caused a scene. after I got kicked out I pushed over some giant barrels of oil outside. About a week later I went back to the bar because I had no idea this even happened. The bartender recognized me and called the owner. He showed up and tried to fight me ... he's also a good friend of my parents. 4 loko is insane.
wanted to catch a buzz and was a little tired before I went out, so I got 3 orange four Loko's. I mean, for $2.50 each, I 72oz of beer and energy drinks at once! BIG FUCKING MISTAKE! I drove, thinking I was fine and met my friends at the bar. Showed up wasted there, started drinking Jack & Cokes. Next think I remember I had the Shallow Hal glasses on... aggressively hitting on anything that was female, preferably fat and hideous... AND EASY! Things get fuzzy from there, but I woke up... pissed on myself, what felt like a chainsaw going thru my head and two blobs in my bed. I also noticed a Tabo Bell bag which still had some food in it -- I can only imagine what I did what those blobs, but because of four Loko I had my first 3some!!!
i should preface this by stating that under normal circumstances, i am fully a legit lesbo. I met a friend of mine at a dance party after an art opening, where i'd imbibed a few glasses of wine. we went to a deli and picked up 3 four lokos and split the bounty. i did *not* black out, but started hump-dancing a dude in a sweater vest (WHAT?). My friend stage-dove and no one caught her, causing her to break her rib, whereupon I left with the dude. we went back to the radio station he owned and had sex on the couch. he slept on the floor and i left my bra there, doing the most brutal walk of shame i have ever experienced.
went with a couple of friends and downed around 8 lokos collectively. somehow managed to wander with another friend into a very upscale neighborhood where we tried to start a riot. somehow got 8 followers, screamed at an old couple and got hit by some guy in a car. thats where i blacked out. apparently i procceded to get up and beat the shit out of the guy who hit me, ran into the woods and fucked up a cop car while no one was inside. fucked a girl i met, puked on her and ran away to find more drinks. apparently i didnt make it because i woke up in arizona. i live in california. i still dont know how i got there. my friend blacked out during our run for more loko.