So my friend and i had 3 four loko's each in about an hour. it tasted like old wine but i soldiered it out and drank them both.. w the last thing i remember is my roommate standing on our other (jerk) roommates car hood and taking a shit on his windshield. i woke up with no pants or boxers...just a trader joes bag and a construction vest on. my roommate came back around 10am saying that he was woken up in some bushes by a guy walking his dog..
I'd seen Four Lokos at various parties over the summer and had only taken a few sips of friends' here and there. One night, my girlfriend and her roommates were throwing a party and I decided that I wanted Four Lokos to be my drink of choice. I thought "Hey, how bad can 2 energy drinks really fuck me up? I'm sure that won't even be enough alcohol for the night". Wrong.
After finishing the first one in under 5 minutes, I was already feeling adventurous. We started with some pretty tame drinking games, except I kept losing... but the time we were done, I was rolling across the kitchen floor screaming about, "How badly I wanted grandma's oatmeal cookies more than a blowjob" That's the last thing I remember.
I proceded to attempt to bake said cookies, and next morning I woke up with my head in a mixing bowl that contained flour, unbeaten eggs (the yoke was stuck in my hair), fish sticks, yogurt, oatmeal, and (of course) some Four Loko. I didn't get laid that night.
wanted to catch a buzz and was a little tired before I went out, so I got 3 orange four Loko's. I mean, for $2.50 each, I 72oz of beer and energy drinks at once! BIG FUCKING MISTAKE! I drove, thinking I was fine and met my friends at the bar. Showed up wasted there, started drinking Jack & Cokes. Next think I remember I had the Shallow Hal glasses on... aggressively hitting on anything that was female, preferably fat and hideous... AND EASY! Things get fuzzy from there, but I woke up... pissed on myself, what felt like a chainsaw going thru my head and two blobs in my bed. I also noticed a Tabo Bell bag which still had some food in it -- I can only imagine what I did what those blobs, but because of four Loko I had my first 3some!!!
3 four lokos Saturday night paired with a slew of other unintelligent beverage choices, & I wake up naked next to a fully clothed-semi hot guy, an empty bottle of wet platinum, and without my anal virginity.
Decided to try out 4 loko. Drank 2 of them to pregame then went out to the bars. I didn't drink anything at the bar, but I totally blacked out. the rest of this story was gathered from security footage at the bar. I tried to steal several bar stools from the bar. the bartender immediately flipped out so I caused a scene. after I got kicked out I pushed over some giant barrels of oil outside. About a week later I went back to the bar because I had no idea this even happened. The bartender recognized me and called the owner. He showed up and tried to fight me ... he's also a good friend of my parents. 4 loko is insane.
We played a game of Edward 4loko-hands for my birthday party. It works just like Edward 40-hands, but you play with 4loko instead. I knew that I would end up pissing my pants if I didn't finish quick, so I drank both my 4lokos in under ten minutes total. The rest of the night was amazing... Baby bird shots, girls stripping on the kitchen table, and various other blurs. I will miss you 4loko. You'll always have a special place in my heart and in my liver.
Did a power hour with a Loko not knowing what it was. Passed out at a party, got lost on my way home. Was found by my guy friends in the guys bathroom crying in the stall, when they moved me to the bigger stall i started screaming "he left me for a fat ugly girl with big gums!" "big what?" "GUMSS! LIKE A HORSEE!" I then went back to their room where i forced them to play christmas music for me to "dance" to, it was april. When they told me to go to bed i told them that I was the night owl and they were my owlettes and i tell them when the fuck to go to bed, and it is their bedtime!
I drank two and a half four lokos at my dormitory last year. I ended up lighting an American flag on fire and tying it around my back while yelling insults at passing people on the street. Someone put it out (my shirt still has burn marks) and I finished the third in my friends room while going insane to some dubby ass dubstep. Then, I announced that a monkey had just pissed on my mind-brain and left the room. I then walked up to a fire alarm in the dorm and pulled it, for no reason that I can remember. I sprinted out of the building falling on the way and crossed the street, watching my dorm-mates pour out of the building. After we were led back in, I sprinted past the security guard upstairs and wrote a drunken confession letter, turned it in, and ended up in jail 2 days later. Most of this has been told to me, I barely remember it. Now they tell my story to all incoming freshmen every year! And somehow through all of this, I ended up being referred to as "The Italian." I'm a pale guy of Irish and English descent. I'LL MISS YOU FOUR LOKO!!!! You won't be the same without all your stimulating chemicals.