Started off a night in Austin with what I like to call Livin' La Vida Loko shots (jager bomb into Loko). Three hours later my buddy got his tooth knocked out by a bouncer and broke his iphone. I wound up in the attic of a Super 8 covered in glowsticks. #supportloko
fuck the shitters and the bitches who cant handle four lokos. if your going to buy it, knowing it is 12% alcohol content and basically a deuce-deuce as they say, and can't handle it...DONT DRINK IT. The most I've had in a 6 hour period is 5...I'm 21 years old and while I might be a bit of a tank...I'm not afucking super human. It's alcohol and caffeine. Quit shitting your pants and acting like babies. Wah wah wah...I went to the club and my friend got his dick sucked by a homeless legless bitch...fuck you. You don't belong at a club. Much less a fucking toys r us. Joke. If you wanna drink a four loko, you gotta be loko. It doesn't come with practice or nothing like that, either you got it or you don't. If this too hard for you to understand....there's smirnoff right underneath it. Drink that, and if you shit your pants THEN FUCKING QUIT
Decided to try out 4 loko. Drank 2 of them to pregame then went out to the bars. I didn't drink anything at the bar, but I totally blacked out. the rest of this story was gathered from security footage at the bar. I tried to steal several bar stools from the bar. the bartender immediately flipped out so I caused a scene. after I got kicked out I pushed over some giant barrels of oil outside. About a week later I went back to the bar because I had no idea this even happened. The bartender recognized me and called the owner. He showed up and tried to fight me ... he's also a good friend of my parents. 4 loko is insane.
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Bonged Three Four Lokos, broke into a house I plan on living in next year, told random people to go fuck themselves, got kicked out of 2 bars, puke all over myself, went to go shower off, wake up 3 hours later to my roomates banging on the door, ended up flooding the bathroom and the entry way.
So my friend and i had 3 four loko's each in about an hour. it tasted like old wine but i soldiered it out and drank them both.. w the last thing i remember is my roommate standing on our other (jerk) roommates car hood and taking a shit on his windshield. i woke up with no pants or boxers...just a trader joes bag and a construction vest on. my roommate came back around 10am saying that he was woken up in some bushes by a guy walking his dog..
Last weekend in Baltimore I drank two 4 Lokos then found out I had to move my car because my street was going to have weekend construction. I promptly moved my vehicle then proceeded to continue boozing at a few nearby bars before my memory failed me entirely. The last thing I remember was starting to walk home, proud of myself for having avoided driving home drunk or paying for a taxi.
Next thing I know it was 6:45am and I was in bed still wearing my shoes and my contacts. Several of my knuckles were split and there was part of an orange construction fence entangled on my coat. I set out to retrieve my car before it could be towed, but alas, it was nowhere to be found- not even in the city's two impound lots. FOUR AND A HALF HOURS OF WALKING LATER I found it on a sidestreet in the hood, at least 3 neighborhoods away from where I thought I parked it. Textbook Lokomotion.
Did a power hour with a Loko not knowing what it was. Passed out at a party, got lost on my way home. Was found by my guy friends in the guys bathroom crying in the stall, when they moved me to the bigger stall i started screaming "he left me for a fat ugly girl with big gums!" "big what?" "GUMSS! LIKE A HORSEE!" I then went back to their room where i forced them to play christmas music for me to "dance" to, it was april. When they told me to go to bed i told them that I was the night owl and they were my owlettes and i tell them when the fuck to go to bed, and it is their bedtime!
Had my first Loko the other nite...liked the feeling and had my second...then third...i woke up the next morning in an elevator with 7 empty cans of loko and sharpie inked all over my body...almost 13 hours elapsed without me remembering it...oh...and it should also be known that my dorm building doesnt have an elevator...i found myself in a building in downtown Manhattan.