I'd heard the legends, the rumors, the myths of the Loko but never drank a full one til this past August. That night, a couple of buddies and I pregamed a night out at some local bars with one each. After several more beers and a shot or two, I was ravenous: pissed on my neighbor's garage, was climbing fences and running through people's backyards like a hallucinogenic secret agent, and tried to dig up a street sign. No, not like shook it a little and tried to knock it down. I took off my shirt, got down on my hands and knees, and DUG A GIANT HOLE around the whole thing, down to its cement base. After 20 minutes-ish of trying, I gave up, broke off a branch from a nearby tree, and ran home shirtless through some sprinklers, fanning myself with the branch. It was 4 AM... when my parents opened the door to let me in.
God Bless the Loko.
Four Loko Failure :
The first time I drank Four Loko, I decided to drink two. I ended up getting naked at my friend's house in the pool while his dad was there. Then I proceeded to allow a boy to finger me while I had my period. When we rejoined the party, other people at the party kindly pointed out that his hand was bloody. Most mortifying moment ever, until I drank Four Lokos again. When I lost my virginity to a boy...up the ass.
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Decided to try Four Loko for a night in AC. Split half on the drive there with my buddy, drank another whole one before going out, tasted the other 4 that we got several times....went to see Daniel Tosh and drank two giant fosters...asked everyone in both casinos I deemed shady enough if they had coke (which i have never tried before and wasnt even going to do)...was waitin for the jitney but decided to ditch my friends and the girls we met and ran from the borgata to harrahs to ask more people for coke...bllaaannkknesss...no more friends at this point...yelled at the security guard at The Pool that I am not too drunk to be let in and for some reason he let me in...blaaannkk...on stage dancin....best friend has apparently been with me the whole time and givin me drinks....bllaannkkk...jump in pool....blaannkk...wet and in some kitchen with a bunch of guys laughin at whatever i am babling about...bllaannkkk....no friends for real this time...end up in a elevator, think i pissed in it, see two of my friends who have no idea what i am sayin...wake up in the morning face down on the floor, heart racing, no shirt or shoes, soaking wet jeans, cell phone next to my head with a note that says room 5016 (or 5061) and wallet is missing...ends up i told the dancers at the pool i was a photographer, gave away all my business cards that are not for photography, back flipped into the pool, got yelled at for bein on stage wet, and lost $300 (got my wallet form security tho).......totally looking forward to drinkin four loko again and goin to ac, just gonna leave my money far away
I'm convinced Four Loko turns you into an entirely different person- a moral-less crazy person. I've never woken up from a night of Loko's saying "Yes, the decisions I made last night were good ones!" haha Yet, I still drink it... I guess I like the moral-less crazy person in me. Last night, I went to a club, got drunk with my friends, cabbed it back (surprising we cabbed it, honestly, usually the Loko makes me think I'm cool to drive) to my friends house, drank a Loko (not even sure what flavor it was, I was so tanked), gave my MARRIED guy friend a naked lap dance, then proceeded to drive home with him n his friend whom I just met, and fucked his friend. Funny thing is, I don't even remember anything after the lapdance. And that was my first one night stand. Woke up at about 1pm (still wasted and next to a naked guy I really don't know) and called in to my work and said I was too drunk to come in. Pretty sure I'll be losing my job tomorrow. I love you and hate you Loko.
so i decided 2 have 3 four lokos the other night. we were pre-gaming to go to a party at my girlfriends house. But i never got to the party, on my way there my friend who was driving got pulled over for not having his headlights on(he was sober) the cop asked if i was drunk and i told him i fisted his grandmother with a hulk hand. then he said excuse me sir, then i exited the passenger door where i started swinging at him but never connected. he took out his taser and tazed me but it didnt seem to get to me and as i was going to chase the cop again a mazda 3 going about 30 MPH hit me as i was going after the cop. i landed about 10 feet away bloody as hell. but i got up, ran towards my friends car and started screaming at him telling to leave because nazi zombies were coming.(i love black ops) later that night i ended up in jail on a $2,500. my great friend bailed me out the next morning. thanks four loko, im never drinking again.