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So my friend Newington and I were staying at this dude Ivan's house in New York City. And we get bored so we go to Thompkins Square Park and start drinkin' Four Lokos in the park with these fuckin' hobos. We drink like 3 cans each of loko and split 3 slammers (four loko mixed with a 40 of malt liquor). Next thing I know I'm in this van that smells so much like gasoline you'd think it would blow up, with like 8 hobos, and they're all drinkin' the Loko. All of a sudden this giant hobo starts screamin "get me outta this car", and we're like "Wait dude!", and he slides open the door and tries jump out, turns out we're on the Williamsburg bridge, so like 5 people are holding this screaming 6'5 massive hobo in the van all accross the bridge while he's trying to escape. We eventually get him in, and he and his hobo girl friend start beating the shit out of each other for like 15 minutes till we reach Ivan's house where we're gonna party. We end up making it there have more four lokos, and Ivan is fuckin' pissed we brought these bums over. He says they gotta go because they all have dogs and he claimed they were pissing all over his house, which I don't doubt. So the big hobo gets up in Ivan's face sayin' he'll kill him, and this other hobo starts talking to the big dude in Polish and he calms down out of nowhere and starts hugging the girl he was fighting back in the van. Then we left.
I don't remember what else happened, but me and Newington got banned from Ivan's house the next day for all the hobo trouble.
Totally worth it.
We decided it would be a great idea to pre-game with Four Lokos before running in Bay to Breakers, a 7 mile footrace across San Francisco.
I pounded 2 Four Lokos, a water bottle of Vodka, and a bottle of Andre (just to keep things classy)--all in one hour while we were on the metro.
The rest of the day is a blur. Apparently, after finding and throwing tortillas at another runner, he proceeded to choke me in the middle of the street in broad daylight. But that didnt stop me! I ran two miles uphill and eventually passed out next to a first aid tent at Alamo Park, across the street from the "Full House" house.
I was woken up when a Police officer grabbed the Four Loko I was clutching in my hands, poured it out and then threw the crushed up can onto me--all while threatening to arrest me for public intoxication. I somehow talked my way out of it--and hitched a $70 limo ride home. Success.
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had 2 four locos followed by beers. started playing ping pong ass naked my hotel lounge. was caught by police and started yelling "dont put me on America's Most Wanted, Please! My mother watches that show"
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Having tried 6 of 9 four loko flavors, i can say with confidence that drinking four loko is similar to getting raped by Mr. T holding a cattle prod in your ass, in jail, in the rain, next to a homosexual midget male prostitute tied to a pumpkin with a straw inserted in his urethra. Now that's loko
Wilson the Hammock Man
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Had a death smoothie (fruit, ice, and 4 LOKO's) as a pregammer with a buddy then had another one after we brainfreezed ourselves chugging them, blacked out around 8 pm, woke up with two topless chicks, two gallons of milk, a black eye, and 13 pizzas with a receipt from pizza hut of $164.82.
I've just been LOKO'd
Here is my most recent encounter with the beast(4loko)! I bought 2 orange lokos; instant stomach ache before I even finished the first loko. Then I drank the 2nd. Sweaty and completely shitface @ this Chico State party. 2 wasted to be in public i stumbled my wasted ass about 6 blocks and ordered the most savage dish at a shitty 24 hr Mexican restaurant. I got it to-go and carefully stumbled back to my house. Falling and tripping constantly until i was approached by 3 dudes trying to start shit. Too wasted and hung I just ran away. hahah coward!!!! but i was destined to get home and eat this meal. opened my door and finally tripped and fell and spiked my mexican food on my roomates brand new vacuum. I was too wasted to clean it and too hunger not to eat it. soo i ate the food off his vacuum. I smoked a bowl and got mad spins. Throwing up and then blacked out. Woke up delirious and to a robbed house. MacBook, Flatscreen, and my weed. Thanks 4 loko!
So having a good time at a party going on at my house with a bunch of friends. After a couple of shots of soco, couple shots of smirnoff greenapple, and 4 beers i decide to have one of the 4lokos laying in my fridge.
Next thing I remember.. I'm puking violently in the upstairs toilet, got some kind of turrets shit going on cause im yelling "BIG DICK" and "BALLS" inebetween vomits while screaming. Someone thought I was exorcising demons. Then a dude comes up to pee when I get up and I gotta puke again. So I puke over his shoulder as he takes his leak and it waterfalls over his dick into the toilet.
Should be called FuckYeahLoko
OK. so the night started like any thursday... I got me a LOKO and killed it. Got another and killed it. proceeded to drink all the beer in my bros fridge and smoke... THIS IS THE POINT I WAS FILLED IN ON LATER.... so apparently I went to a party and the cops came so the house owner locked the doors.. I left anyway LOKO in hand. I walked right past the cops fell down the steps and yelled at the damn steps for being so hard to use... then i stole a bike from a large black man in north philly and he called the cops.. the cops didnt believe him and tried to give me the bike.. mylifeisLOKO
SO my friends and I decided it was a great idea to play flip cup with four loko. The last thing i remember is waking up in my bed with my ankle the size of a grapefruit. Turns out I fell down a flight of stairs then got up saying "Im fine" then fell off a curb and had to be carried home. I ended up tearing all the ligaments in my ankle and foot. I have been in a walking boot for 6 weeks now and my friends now call me booty! Still worth it 143 four loko!
After one loko, a beer & a long island.. let's just say I was a fucking shit show. According to the scrapes on my hand, knees and top of my foot, I'm pretty sure I fell down a million times on my way home. **** & I practically fucked on the stairs outside of my apartment. The only neighbor of mine that I actually know had to squeeeeeeze past us just to get up the stairs. ("Oh, hey, Joe!") Laid down on my living room floor and proceeded to drunk dial my ex-boyfriend. Hung up with him, rolled over & vommed. Got up, stumbled to the restroom, and sat down on the toilet , peeing & leaning over the bathroom sink to vomit at the same time. Passed out in that position & woke up a few hours later. I. HATE. FOUR LOKO.
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